Just because your child is approaching the end of the breastfeeding phase (or is already in it), it doesn’t mean you have to stop breastfeeding them.

In many parts of the world, it’s no big deal to see a toddler walking and talking, still nursing at the breast. However, in this country, extended breastfeeding isn’t as common.

While some people may raise an eyebrow if they see you nursing your toddler, there is plenty of official support for extended breastfeeding (which is defined as breastfeeding a child after the age of 1). The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that continued breastfeeding has benefits for as long as the mother and child wish to do so. The World Health Organization (WHO) goes a step further, recommending breastfeeding for 2 years or longer, as long as the child’s nutritional needs are met.

Benefits of Extended Breastfeeding

Good Nutrition

One of the benefits of extended breastfeeding is the nutritional boost it can provide to a child, especially a picky eater. Experts believe the composition of breast milk changes to meet the nutritional needs of the child. Even if your child eats like a bird, breastfeeding can help make up for any deficiencies caused by their selectivity. (Just make sure breastfeeding doesn’t interfere with their meals and snacks, and continue serving healthy foods for picky eaters.)

Protection Against Illness

Breast milk continues to strengthen your child’s immune system, making them less likely to get colds, ear infections, allergies, and other common illnesses. Even if they do get sick, breastfeeding will help comfort them. In fact, breast milk might be the only thing they can keep down when they’re feeling under the weather.

Future Health Benefits

Research shows that breastfed babies and toddlers enjoy all kinds of health benefits as they grow, including lower blood pressure and cholesterol. They are also less likely to be overweight or obese and less likely to develop type 2 diabetes.

Brain Development Boosted

Although research isn’t conclusive, some studies suggest that the longer and more frequently a child breastfeeds, the smarter they are likely to be, thanks to the omega-3 fatty acids, or DHA, unique to breast milk.

Quiet Time and Comfort

Toddlers have a lot of important work to do! They are exploring, developing new skills, and discovering all sorts of things about the world. And like any worker, sometimes they need a break. Nursing a toddler can offer the perfect rest during a busy day — something that mothers can certainly relate to.

Just like a pacifier or a favorite stuffed animal, breastfeeding can also help calm a distressed child or make a boo-boo feel better.

Health Benefits for Mothers

Breastfeeding a toddler also brings benefits for you. It can reduce the risk of certain cancers (such as breast and ovarian cancers) and help you maintain a healthy weight, as breastfeeding consumes energy and burns calories.

Balancing Breastfeeding with Solid Foods

Breastfeeding a toddler is a bit different than breastfeeding a baby. While most pediatric organizations recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months, by around 1 year old, children are getting a lot of their nutrition from solid foods. In other words, there are no hard-and-fast rules about how much or how often a toddler should breastfeed or eat solid foods. Most toddlers will make the rules.

But that doesn’t mean you should throw out good manners. For your own sanity, don’t feed your child solid foods right before or after a breastfeeding session while they are sitting in your lap. Try putting them in a high chair and commit to a snack or small meal. Even if they throw the food across the room, you’re laying the foundation for a healthy and happy eater who, someday, will be welcomed into a nice restaurant.

How Often Should You Breastfeed Your Toddler?

The funny thing about breastfeeding a toddler is that they will likely tell you when they want to eat and when they don’t want to eat. Even if they can’t form full sentences, you’ll know.

Sometimes, you won’t want them to be so verbal, especially when you’re out and about. So, come up with a code word, phrase, or sign (maybe they can tap on their chest) to signal that they’re ready for a snack. If they have a habit of grabbing you, teach them that your shirt (and your breast) are off-limits, but they can always use the secret code word or sign.

If you find yourself in a situation where there’s no place to go when your toddler asks to nurse, make sure you have healthy snacks for toddlers that they can chew on until you can offer the breast.

Breastfeeding Positions for Your Toddler

By now, your toddler is likely more interested in exploring their world than sitting still to eat. Even if you could place them in a football hold or cradle position, they’d likely squirm right out of it. That’s okay.

Most toddlers prefer to nurse while sitting in your lap, with or without your arm around them for stability. As long as you choose a position that is comfortable for both of you, there’s no right or wrong way to do it.

Challenges of Extended Breastfeeding

Extended breastfeeding means more closeness with your child, but it can be challenging to plan when your child will want to nurse. Even though you may have felt perfectly comfortable nursing your baby whenever they wanted, you might feel differently now that they are walking around on their own two feet.

You may also encounter people who criticize you for continuing to nurse your toddler, but you don’t have to engage in those discussions. If you’ve tried to end the conversation, but someone continues to insist, it’s a good idea to have a few responses ready for your critics.

A short, sweet, non-defensive reply is often the best way to deal with criticism for breastfeeding a toddler. One way to silence critics is to say that your pediatrician advised you to continue breastfeeding. A simple “doctor’s orders” can often be enough. Most people won’t argue with a doctor’s instructions.

Or, if your cousin at a family gathering asks, “Tommy is still nursing?” Just say, “Yes,” and leave it at that. In response to, “Is he going to stop nursing?” simply say, “Yes — in about 10 minutes.”

When You’re Ready to Wean Your Toddler

Many breastfed children wean on their own. If yours doesn’t, and you want to speed up the process, try talking gently to your child. By age 2, your child understands what you’re saying.

Kindly let her know that breastfeeding time will soon come to an end, but you will still be there for playtime, reading, cuddling, and belly tickles. Similar to weaning from nighttime feedings when she was younger, you can gradually extend the times between breastfeeding sessions, reducing them to those that are most comfortable for both you and your child, such as first thing in the morning or before bed.

You may want to schedule some extra fun “mom and me” activities to ease her fears. It can also help to explain that weaning is something that big kids do, and it’s a time to celebrate.